Geek Blog

I’ve recently been made aware that you can plug crap into your USB port and make fun things happen on your desk. I recently got thisbaby from Amazon, and it arrived today. This is not only very slightly useful, it’s also hideous. I love it! I vacuumed my desk today and I may do it again tomorrow. I’m wild that way.

I also recently discovered these.These are ridiculously cool little accessories for an unashamed geek. I’ve seen geek jewelry before, but these are actually pretty useful to have.

There is a finally a flying car . You know- the one we’ve been promised since we were all little kids looking forward to the millennium when there would be flying cars. Remember the world of the 21st century- it was going to be less polluted, more internationally connected, and it was going to be full of freaking flying cars? There is finally a viable flying car and I think we should all turn in our cars at the nearest car disposal center and pick up out new flying craft. I just can’t keep driving a minivan knowing that I could by flying the offspring to school every day.

For some reason, Majel Barrett died without my having been informed. I don’t remember it being on the CNN website and there has been no mourning in the streets. What the hell is going on here? The death of the only Star Trek actor to ever have glared at me is getting woefully little press. She died three weeks ago and I am just hearing about it!

Luckily, she has already recorded the computer voice for the new Star Trek movie, so there won’t have to be that awkward voice that doesn’t cut it like the not-quite-Kermit that took over after Jim Henson died. Atl least, not yet. Someday there will be some freak thinking he can sound like Nurse Chapel in a metal chamber as well as she did, but it will never be the same.

The new Dr. has been announced- I just heard about it today, so let’s just go with it happening today. The new guy is some dude named Matt Smith. Aside from having pretty much the worst name ever, he’s also the youngest Dr. ever. At 26, how convincing can he be? It poses a real puzzle in the geek mind. Are they trying to attract the Gossip Girl crowd or something? That’s not where their demographic lies, though it might mean higher advertising prices for them. Shows that pander to the young teen crowd generally do poorly but go on forever because of the huge amount they can charge their advertisers. Gross.

If you’re tired of all that pesky time telling, there is another type of clock for you. The World Clock shows statistics that you never even knew existed in real-time flashes that get a little dizzying if you try to pay too much attention to them. Check out how fast humans are slaughtering chickens!

If the numbers get too be too fast for you, there is a pause button at the top right of the clock. Of course, by using it you don’t get the full impact of it all. The world is moving and moving and moving, and even while we sit here and type there are vegetable being harvested, chickens being slaughtered and cases of leprosy being diagnosed. I really thought that there was more leprosy out there,though. Didn’t you?

You didn’t know we had our own cakes, eh? We totally do. Are you having trouble picturing what a geek cake would actually look like? This is what one looks like. It was a mistake of appalling proportions, but it actually ended up looking pretty cool. Apparently the person sent in a cake order online to the bakery, and the resulting message ended up carrying several errors and naked code. The bakery received the message and crated the cake just the way it was ordered. And a fine job it was, too. Personally, I would be proud to eat such a geeky cake.

This t-shirt is the only thing you ever need to wear. I just ran across this and am so psyched that it actually exists. This has been my motto for far too long and I accidentally found it while looking for something else entirely. I am just annoyed that I didn’t think of putting it on a t-shirt. I could have opened up a Cafe Press shop with it and made a killing. Or, you know, sold nothing and wondered why other people are so weird. Either one.

If you’re ever stuck wondering what to do, this is the quintessential question to ask yourself. It doesn’t matter what the circumstance is- whatever the answer is will be right. I guarantee it.

I love this collection of geeky graffiti. the binary is particularly well rendered.Where the hell are people finding binary graffiti and windows jokes spray painted on stuff? All I ever see is crap about Jesus and various penis jokes. I really need to live somewhere with a better class of graffiti. Why don’t they ever factor that into those quality of life index lists that come out every year? Personally, I think that “cool graffiti” would be a pretty good selling point for a city. I’d be a lot more interested in that than in whether the city has a ballet company.

Everyone needs a little something surreal in their day. Take a look at the video below, prepare to be blown away by the utter randomness and bow down to the man himself. If I knew how to make pointless videos I would totally make something like that. I love the “woo” sounds he makes. He probably does that all the time and not just while racing.

I stumbled across it while actually writing a serious article. I was able to link to it while maintaining the serious nature of the piece and actually won an award for it. Those are skillz, baby.

I had no idea that Geek Magazine existed until yesterday. Why didn’t anyone tell me about it? How rude. Spouse came home with it and started reading it as if I didn’t want to take a look at it.

It’s actually pretty good. I love the ads- I now know about more geeky stuff that I want to buy. Here’s their website. It doesn’t tell you a heck of a lot, but look at the big Wes Anderson shout out! I freaking love Wes Anderson. If the world had no one in it but Shatner, Wes Anderson and possibly the Lone Gunmen, I’d be pretty fine with it.